i am confused and discontent often
last night i went to dinner with my parents and my grandmother, and the waiter wrote his number on the inside of my to-go box
today i have not showered and no one is home and i just sang the entirety of t.i.’s whatever you like to my rats while replacing “you” with their names (i also replaced the line about sex with “green biscuits all day all night”)
Her response: “It doesn’t matter. You are still my daughter and I love you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a gay or a lesbian. As long as you are a good person and you do not hurt people, it’s okay.”
I am so, so, so happy for you, my darling!
That sums it up
This reminds me of a discussion we had in school, and one girl was talking about living in fear of her safety because she is a girl, and this guy chimed in and was all “It’s hard for guys too! I’m so awkward around girls! It’s embarrassing!” Yeah, not the same thing, exactly?
This reminds me of an article about online (heterosexual) dating that I read a while ago. It listed men’s and women’s worst fears about meeting someone from online. The highest ranked fear that men had was that their date would be fat, whereas the highest ranked fear that women had was that their date would turn out to be violent and kill them.
I think that says a lot.
This is a pretty classic privilege dynamic I think, and one that we as a society tend to downplay in order to give the privileged even more volume.
Men are afraid women will laugh at them or won’t have sex with them, women are afraid men will kill them.
Rich people are upset that everyone else is calling them “greedy” instead of “job creators”, everyone else is upset that they can’t afford health care.
White people are afraid of being called racist by people of color, people of color are afraid of being killed by white people (especially white people in positions of authority, like police).
Straight people are afraid of having their “marriages ruined” by other people getting married, queer people are afraid of being beaten to death.
Cis people are afraid of having to share a bathroom with someone different than they are, trans people are afraid of being murdered.
This is really just a perfect X, Y statement to sum up the most basic tenet of privilege: if you are privileged, the majority of the time you don’t fear for your basic survival.